Dazed & Confused
by nATEdAWGG
Summary: kurtofsky ftw! based off NBK but branched out afterword. R&R im willing to take suggestions for future. rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I wrote this for fun the day after NBK was shown. i particularily like giving insight into the character's heads. i hope you enjoy. PLEASE review after reading! i would really appreciate the feedback

Disclaimer: i do not own anything here, it belongs to their respective owners

Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

Today started off just like any other day, I put on my most fabulous clothes I could find, and went to the bus stop. Oddly, that Neanderthal, Karofsky was there waiting for the bus a well. After a little skillful eavesdropping, I found out that his dad took his truck away from him for getting into an argument about staying out to late. In my opinion, he deserved it. Day after day, shoving me into lockers, slushiing me, all because I'm gay. But, I digress. I got to school, able to avoid Karofsky enough to make it all the way to my locker, just to end up finding him and Azimio waiting for me. As usual, I got shoved into my locker, only, I think it's getting worse, I swear I broke a rib or two today ! Sometimes, I just wish I could get away from it all, go somewhere where I can find someone else to relate to, to love. But, sadly, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. Tomorrow's Glee practice though, maybe I'll finally be able to convince him to do something more our generation, or at least not rap, sometimes I just want to tell him off, but, I can't afford anything worse on my permanent record. Well its getting pretty late now, I should probably be going to bed before my dad takes my iPhone away from me. Good night Diary .

Love,

Kurt H.

Dave Karofsky was at the bus stop again, although he seemed a slight bit depressed today. Kurt just shrugged it off as missing his pick-up truck a little too much, but Kurt had no idea just what was truly wrong with Dave. Getting on the bus, Dave shoved Kurt down to the ground. Kurt was almost at the point of crying when he got onto the bus and sat in his usual seat by the emergency exit window, he pulled out his phone to check his contacts to see if there was anyone that he could vent to, but, to his expectations, the short list only had a few important designer clothing stores, and of course his dads cell, which always was left on his coffee table instead of with his dad where it belongs.

_Sometimes I worry how he'll end up when I move out, _thought Kurt. After Burt's heart attack a while ago, Kurt forced his dad to get a cell phone so he could keep in constant touch to make sure there's no repeat.

The rest of the half hour bus ride, Kurt sat in silence in his usual spot crying not from the pain of being slammed to the ground by Dave, but instead, because he felt so lonely, _after all, being the only out gay kid in this entire town, what else could I expect out of life _he thought to himself, _my life has been chosen from the day I was born, eternal depression._

Finally at school, Kurt went straight to his locker, got his school work, and closed his locker. Dave, trying to be sneaky, came up behind Kurt, and knocked his books down. Kurt, still in tears, bent over to pick his books up, only to be slammed onto the ground and the slight pointy pile of books under him.

"Go back home, Homo. We're sick of the eye sore you are to us every day." Yelled Dave as he walked into the locker room with the other football players.

Kurt, almost at his breaking point, picks himself and his books up, walks to the school library with plans on avoiding his teachers so he doesn't have to face them and their complaining about his almost daily skipping class.

Finally lunch time, or on this day of the week, Glee rehearsals, Kurt is overjoyed to be leaving the boring library. At glee practice, the first thing that Kurt notices is that Puck is back out of juvy. After he sits down, Mr. Schuester starts off with his so called lesson of the week.

"Guess what? I just got the competition list for regionals this year. First, there's an all-boys school with a glee club called the Warblers." –

"Whoa, like 10 different gay jokes just popped in my head" butted in Santana

"Second, a high school dedicated to giving education to people that dropped out of school years ago." Said Will, "Since last year before regionals, I got you guys pumped up with a boys verse girls competition, I was thinking that this year we could have the second annual Competition," as he's turning around, "so go ahead and split up on either side of the room…Kurt, I'll say it again, boys team, now."

Kurt, hesitantly, turns around and starts off toward the boy's side of the room. Among the anxious chatter, Kurt sat looking depressed, looking as isolated from his peers as he felt.

"I'll tell you all what the theme is after school so just meet here for a quick meeting."

Kurt, even more depressed than usual, slowly walks toward his locker behind Puck and Artie. After they turn the corner, Dave comes running up behind and slams Kurt into the locker harder than he had ever before. This last slam finally pushed Kurt over his limit.

"WHAT is your PROBLEM!"

"You talkin' back to me? You want a piece of the fury?"

"The fury?"

"That's what I named my fist."

"oh, With that level of creativity, you could easily become assistant manager at a Rendering plant."

"I don't know what that is, but if I find out its bad, the fury's gonna find you!" Dave slams Kurt back into the locker as he turns around and walks back in the direction he came. Just as he turns the corner toward the outdoor staircase, Mr. Schuester came around the corner to see Kurt holding his chest in pain.

"Kurt, come with me to my office, I need to talk to you."

"Is there anything I can do?" says Mr. Schuester as he hand Kurt a glass of water

_My names not Cindy Lou Who, _Kurt thinks,"No. This is my hill to climb alone."

"Can I be honest?" asks Mr. Schue, "I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back. But, lately, you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away."

"Can I be honest with you?"

Will nods.

"You like everyone else at this school are too quick to let homophobia slide, and your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. I mean boys versus girls, that doesn't challenge any of us."

"you mean because I didn't let you join the girls team like you wanted?"

"To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy, and yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here." Says Kurt as he leaves Will's office.

Back in the choir room, Mr. Schuester, with time to think, is ready to give the kids their theme for the competition.

Girls, you are doing songs conventionally sung by guys, and boys, you are doing songs usually done by girls," Says Mr. Schue, as Kurt claps his hands for joy, "The more opposite your choice, the more points you get. Now go home and start thinking."

"Don't worry gentlemen, I have this one under control." Whispers Kurt to his peers.

Dear Diary,

The bullying I keep getting from Neanderthal is increasingly getting worse, to the point where I snapped at Karofsky today. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Maybe I should go and transfer schools to Canada somewhere…I don't think dad will approve though. Mr. Schuester noticed the bullying this time; he brought me to his office to talk to me and see if I'm ok. Unfortunately, he thought I was sad because I couldn't go on the girls team for the 2nd annual boys vs. girls competition, but he met me halfway and told us that the boys will be doing songs conventionally sung by girls, and vice verso for the girls team. I already have the song chosen and outfits designed for the competition, so I'll be showing the boys my choice tomorrow at lunch time, can't wait! Well diary, I got to go now, bye.

Love,

Kurt

"Dad, I'm home!"

"Where the hell were you? I thought I grounded you?"

"Yea sorry about that, I was hangin' with the guys."

"Well, whatever, you can have your truck back; you're not going to learn any kind of lesson anyway."

"Thanks, I'm going to bed, good night."

"See ya tomorrow."

Dave walked up the stairs to his room, sat on his computer and opened FaceBook. Immediately, he navigated to his profile settings and changed the sexual preference option from "Women" to "Men", scrolled down and hovered over the save changes option. _I just can't accept it, it can't be true, it just can't, _thought Dave as he moved the pointer over and clicked the cancel button. Right after, he navigated to Kurt Hummel's photos, which didn't take long, because he had it favorite, and scrolled through every picture until he got to one he thought was staring at him. Running his fingers on the computer monitor where Kurt's face is,_ I can only dream,_ he thought as he got up from his chair and powered off his computer, turned off his lights and went to sleep.

It started just like any other dream, walking through the halls, but, only this time, everyone was staring at him not because they were afraid, but because of whom he was with. Dave could feel everything that his dream-self could, which is not usual. _Usually, I'm just another onlooker watching myself, _Karofsky thought. _I can feel everything about him, the warmth in his hands holding mine, I can smell the cologne he uses almost every day, yet it only gets better. _As Dave looks around him to see the joyful faces of the other McKinley student, he catches Kurt's eyes staring deeply into his own. _His eyes, the most beautiful light green, and his pupils, dilated. His skin, pale, yet creamy, with the rosy cheeks of a Hummel figurine, what irony. Wait is that the right word? Oh, who cares? All that matters is that I'm here with him._

"You're beautiful, you know?"

"Next to you, I must look horrifying. You know? I love you." Dave's dream body says, but to Dave's surprise, he realized he had no control over the actions his body made. Or, at least, if he even wanted control.

"I love you too." Kurt says as he makes the most beautiful smile Dave had ever seen.

_His smile, so amazing like bright. I wonder if his lips are as soft as his skin. _Dave thinks as he smiles back to Kurt. After walking to the end of the hall, where suddenly everyone else vacated, Dave realizes he had control over the body all along. After staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours, Dave finally decides to go in for the kiss he's been longing for ever since they met.

Right before the kiss, Dave was jerked awake. _DAMNIT, _he thought as he slammed his fist down on the bed, _How could I let myself get so intimate. I am not gay, I know it. I can't be. _Unable to get back to sleep, Dave instead gets ready or school that day, and leaves early.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: i forgot to mention previously, but i uploaded chapter 1 2 and 3 at once because i started writing when i signed up for the site and had to wait 2 days -.-;

disclaimer: i do not own anything, never will

Chapter 2

When Kurt got to the bus stop, even more excited than the last couple days, he noticed that Karofsky wasn't at the bus stop. _He must just be staying home today sick today~ no getting shlushied or slammed into lockers. Woot! _Thought Kurt as he got on the bus.

When Kurt got to school after an extra-long bus ride, due to a new bus driver getting lost, he made his way to his locker to deposit his presentation for the guys team, all the time not expecting Dave to come up behind him and slam him harder than any time before then.

After the short lived confrontation, Kurt attended his classes physically, but emotionally, he felt like he was on some far away planet. All he could look forward to was the glee club meeting at lunch.

After all the guys were finally settled down after 5 minutes of waiting that Kurt endured, he started the meeting.

"Now, Obviously for this medley to work I'm gunna have to sing lead, and of course we're singing Diana Ross, Don Macias Maier feather boas are a must."

"Isn't this lesson about opposites?" Artie says, interrupting Kurt. "I mean you in a sequin gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect"

"Okay who said anything about a gown?"

"Uhh dude, why don't you make yourself useful and go put some rat poison in the old folks jell-o, or, visit the garglers?"

"The warblers"

"Whatever. See what they're up to. And you can wear all the feathers you want" Says puck as he passes a football to Finn. "You'll blend right in."

Kurt, obviously feeling hurt, makes a decision to go and see Dalton All Boys Private school that after.

Immediately after the 1st lunch bell rang, Kurt went to catch a bus down to Dalton. On the way there, he stops off at home to change into the closest outfit he owns to the school uniform at Dalton. Finally getting on the bus and at the school just in time for the after lunch period to end

Walking down the stairs along with, what seems like, a very rushed crowd, he bumps into one of the boys that go to the school.

"Excuse me, umm hi. Can I ask you a question, I'm new here."

"My names Blaine."

"uuh, Kurt. So what exactly is going on?"

"The warblers, every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior common room. Tends to shut the school down for a while."

"so wait, the glee club is kind of cool?"

"The warblers are like rockstars. Come on, I know a shortcut." Says Blaine as he takes Kurt's hand and pulls him along with him.

Both Kurt and Blaine are smiling as there running down an elegant hallway. The hallway is filled with floral wallpaper, comfortable looking chairs and reading lamps. _His hand is so soft, and warm. And this hallway, it's so perfect, it's like something out of a J. K. Rowling book. _Thinks Kurt as they both make it to the end of the hallway and into the common room.

The room is already full of people moving chairs, tables, and chess boards to either side of the room, leaving an empty place for the warblers to perform.

"Ooh, I stick out like a sore thumb." Says Kurt as he looks around at everyone.

_Of course you do, you must not go here. _Thinks Blaine as he says "Well, next time don't forget your jacket new kid." As he fixes Kurt's collar, "You'll fit right in. Now it you'll excuse me."

Blaine turns around and stands front and center of the rest of the warblers. Turning back around to stare Kurt in the eyes, _I hope he likes this, it's for him. _

_Before you met me, I was alright _

_But things were kinda heavy_

_You brought me to life, _

_Now every February, you'll be my valentine, valentine_

_Let's go all, the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love,_

_We can dance, until we die,_

_You and I, We'll be young forever!_

_You make me, feel like I'm livin' a,_

_Teenage dream, The way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep, let's run away, _

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_Let's go all, the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love_

_We can dance, until we die_

_You and I, we'll be young forever!_

_You make me, feel like I'm livin' a,_

_Teenage dream, The way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep, let's run away, _

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'ma get your heart racin' _

_In my skin tight jeans._

_Be your teenage dream tonight._

_Oo oo oo aah_

_YEAHHH!_

_You make me feel like im livin a_

_teenage dream, the way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep, let's run away_

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back._

_My heart stops, when you look at me_

_Just one touch, now baby I believe_

_This is real, so take a chance_

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'ma get your heart racin_

_In my skin tight jeans,_

_Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Let you put your hands on me _

_In my skin tight jeans,_

_Be your teenage dream tonight._

Immediately after the performance, Kurt begins clapping happily. While Blaine is staring directly at Kurt singing the specific song just for him. All the while, Blaine is being congratulated for his awesome singing, he can't notice anything but Kurt's enjoyment of the song.

After the performance, Blaine and a couple of his friends whisk Kurt away to the cafeteria to have coffee and discuss with Kurt about why he is spying on them

"Latté?"

"Thank you"

"this is Wes, and David." Says Blaine as he points to the two student beside him.

"It's very civilized for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying."

"We are not going to beat you up." Says David before he takes a sip of coffee.

"You were such a terrible spy, I thought it was sort of, Endearing." Says Wes.

"Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came."

"Uhh, Can I ask you guys a Question?" All three look intrigued, "A-are you guys all gay?"

Kurt looks sort of embarrassed as the three guys start to laugh, "Umm, uuh, No. I mean I am, but, uh, these two have girlfriends."

"This is not a gay school, We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy."

"Everybody gets treated the same. No matter what they are. It's pretty simple."

Almost about to cry, Kurt tries his best to hide his face from Blaine and his friends, but Blaine notices and asks the other two to give them some privacy.

"I take it your having trouble with school."

"I'm the only person out of the closet at my school. A-a-and I-I tried to stay strong about it but, there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell. And nobody seems to notice."

_It's like my life is repeating itself for him._ Blaine thinks as he's talking, "I know how you feel, I got taunted at my old school, and it really … really pissed me off. I even complained about it to the faculty, and, they were sympathetic, but you could tell, that, nobody really cared. It was like, 'Hey, if your gay, your life's just gonna be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it." So I left. I came here. Simple as that. So you have two options, I mean I'd love to tell you to just come enroll here, but tuition at Dalton is sort of steep and I know that's not an option for everybody. OR. You can refuse to be the victim. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt, and you have a chance right now to teach him."

"How?"

"Confront him. Call him out. I ran, Kurt, I didn't stand up, I let bullies chace me away, and it something that I really, really regret."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: i uploaded last night :l i want teh reviewzz my fellow readers. READ! :P kurtofsky ftw

disclaimer: how can i possibly own anything?

Chapter 3

Back at Mckinley the next day, Kurt doesn't see Dave anywhere. All throughout the morning, Blaine has been sending Kurt text messages, all saying 'Courage'. This instills a new found happiness in Kurt as he goes to his classes and makes it all the way until lunch, during which the girls perform their mash-up, Livin on a prayer/Start me up, during which, Kurt gets yet another text from Blaine, making him have a smile that lights up the black-lit choir room.

Later that day, after 4th period, Kurt is walking through the hallway when he receives a text from Blaine, saying 'COURAGE!' just when Karofsky walks behind, knocks the phone out of his hand, and shoves him so hard into the locker that he falls over. Kurt, with his new found confidence yells back at Dave, while running after him into the locker room.

"HEY! I AM TALKING TO YOU!"

"Girls locker room is next door." Says Dave, _oh no, please don't let this be happening_

"WHAT is your problem"

"Excuse me!" _His creamy, pale skin, amazing smell that overpowers the usual BO of a locker room. My problem is that I can be this close to you._

"What are you so scared of?"

"Besides you sneakin in here to peak at my junk?" _I'm truly afraid of losing control. Your so close to me now, I can see the softness of your pale skin, feel the warmth radiating from your body, I can smell your breath, the sweet, minty aroma. It's taking so much for me to control myself._

"_Oh. Every straight guys nightmare, that all us gays are out to molest and convert you, well guess what ham hock, you're not my type."_

"_Oh that right?" What? Why? How? I love you, and you'll never be able to love me back? How am I going to be able to handle this? I'm losing control. This is too much._

"Yeah, I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat to much and are going to be bald by the time they're thirty."

"Do not push me Homo." _I'm fat? I sweat too much? How am I going to be bald? Why are you doing this to me? The only one I truly loved, and he hat - Wait, what am I saying I am straight, I always have been!_

"you gunna hit me? Do it" Dave slams the locker shut,

"Don't push me!"_ How could I ever hit you? Slamming you into lockers is one thing but, hit, I could never risk breaking your beautify – NO Stop thinking this!_

"Hit me, because it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me, just like I can't punch the ignoramus out of you!"

"I SAID GET OUT OF MY FACE!" _That's it. I just can't keep control, I need to get out of here qui – What am I saying! I have nothing to keep control of!_

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SCARED LITTLE BOY WHO CAN'T HANDLE HOW EXTRAORDINARILY ORDINARY YOU ARE!"

_Oh who am I kidding, I know it's true. I LOVE KURT HUMMEL! I've known ever since sophomore year when I lifted his light beautiful frame into the dumpster every day, when I felt his soft, warm, inviting skin and his wiry muscles, I knew then that I liked it, it wasn't like feeling the cheerios skirts or curvy figure. It was flat chested, straight figure, muscled arms. The way a man feels. It was only after that, when Kurt started talking back to the bullies that I was able to get to know him and truly love him. _It was in a split second after Kurt was yelling that Dave ran through this all in his mind, and it was then that he lunged forward into a deep passionate kiss. _His lips, so soft, and warm. His cheeks, like a baby's bottom yet so firm at the same time. I feel somewhat, connected to him like I could learn anything I want about him. But I don't need to, the only things I need to know, wasn't there. Does he love me? Or does he just hate me? Is he enjoying this amazing kiss as much as I am, or not? All the answers to those questions are blocked. Not by Kurt, but by myself? I guess I just can't handle the rejection. _And faster than before, he was jerked out of his thoughts. Kurt was now completely shocked, but Dave didn't notice, instead, he attempted to go in for another kiss, but was pushed away by Kurt.

Only now could Dave see Kurt's real reaction. He was afraid, confusing, torn apart. Dave saw it immediately, Kurt didn't like it. He was afraid of what might happen if said anything. It hurt Dave deep to see it. Eyes watering, Dave slammed his fists on the locker and ran out of the locker room.

_How could I let this happen? _Dave thought as he stormed through the hallways, pushing anyone that got in his way. _This wasn't meant to happen. He wasn't supposed to find out. _The thoughts kept running through Dave's mind as he got into his truck and sped all the way back to his house.

The house was empty as usual, his mom on business trips, his dad working his usual nine to five. All Dave wanted to do was to forget everything that had happened that day. He was able to forget everything form the classes he attended, but, when it came to shoving Kurt into lockers, slushiing him, or especially the locker room, he could not forget the moments.

That night, Dave was unable to get any sleep, his dad came home late as usual, smelling of cheap perfume, and his mom called to see if we were fine. But, even into the next day, Dave was unable to focus on anything. He tried to go to the local outdoor skating rinks, but couldn't concentrate enough to get a single goal on an unguarded net. Instead, he decided to drive around in his truck to forget anything that happened.

The next day, Dave decided he should probably go to school, to make sure Kurt didn't tell anyone about what happened. When he go there, he walked over to his friends, exchanged hellos and all that. He listened to Azimio's story about last night with Santana, and nodded, and laughed at the parts he though seemed appropriate.

After 10 minutes of laughing and joking around, Azimio pointed over at Kurt walking towards the school from his bus.

"Hey man, check it. Let's go kick the fag's ass"

"You sure we should?"

"what the fuck man, you've been beating this kids ass everyday for the past 2 years. Don't tell me you caught gay from him?"

"Uh, no way man, I was just tryin' to mess with your head." Dave says as he chuckles, "Let's go make him wish he was never born!"

Dave and Azimio chase after Kurt trying to be sneaky, but on their way to his locker, Azimio is stopped by Santana.

"You go ahead man, we'll be watchin' from the side." Says Azimio as he grinding with Santana.

Dave, trying to keep everyone thinking that he's straight, keeps on walking toward Kurt.

"Sorry." Whispers Dave as soon as he's close enough for Kurt to hear.

As Dave pushes Kurt into the locker this time, he happened to get his hand caught on Kurt's scarf. When he pulls his arm away, the scarf comes with it. Immediately, Dave bunches the scarf up into a ball in his hand and hides it behind his back so no one can see. As he turns around to look back at Kurt, he notice that the look in Kurt's eyes is not pain, but, instead, longing. After seeing this, Dave runs off to his locker in by the outdoor stairs to make a quick, unnoticed deposit of the scarf in his book bag.

Going back down the stairs toward his class, he over heard Kurt and Blaine talking.

"Don't worry about it, just let me do the talking."

"there he is"

_Oh shit, I don't want to deal with this right now, _thought Dave

"I got your back…Excuse me."

"Hey lady boys" _Damnit, I need to get away from here. _"tch, this your boyfriend Kurt?"

"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something."

"I gotta go to class." _No, not here. Please just let this go. _Thinks Dave as he pushes Kurt and Blaine aside.

"Kurt told me what you did."

_Shit, why did this have to happen. _"Oh yea? What's that?"

"You kissed me."

_FUCK, at least not so loud, this place is crouded. _"I don't know what your talkin' 'bout"

"It seems like you might be a little confused. And that's totally normal. This is a very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should just know that you're not alone."

_Fuck you think I'm confused? And I know I'm alone, there is no way ill be accepted by anyone if they find out so SHUT UP! _Dave thinks as he rushes Blaine and pins him against the wall. "Do not mess with me!"

"You have to stop this!" Kurt says as he pushes Dave away from Blaine.

Looking at Kurt, and the amount of hurt and pain on his face he reluctantly turned around and left for class


End file.
